Working out...

As we all know, we need to eat better and exercise more to lose weight. It seems so simple. But, as anyone who has attempted it knows, it is anything but.


Why?


I love to eat healthy foods. I love how I feel after I've worked out. Why then, do I have to battle with myself to do these two things?


I've been really thinking about this lately, trying to understand why I do the things I do. Why I don't make the decisions (simple ones) that would make me a happier person. Why do I chose instead to do things that make me feel regretful, lazy, guilty and like a failure?


I think I understand a bit of it...and apology...about to get a bit heavy. I think it's about self punishment. I KNOW. That's sounds crazy. But really. It's like I don't like myself very much right now, so I do things that make me feel horrible, as I truely feel that's is all I deserve. I eat crap when I know I'm not hungry and don't want it. I skip the gym even when that little voice in my head says 'Ooooohh...that'll feel great!'. Why do I do this to myself?


I can be a VERY motivated person when I want to be. I can find strength from within that other people have commented on as being inspirational.


A few weeks ago I told my sister (who has always been gorgeous and thin) that I had rejoined Weight Watchers and was going to try to kick butt again and get healthy. Her response? "Wow. That is so amazing. I wish I had your self motivation...God, I'd take half of it". Another friend of mine when I told her I was going to lose weight again said "Awesome. Can't wait to watch it. Once you set your mind you are always a success".


So other people see this in me.


I need to find a way to REMIND myself on daily basis that I am a strong, powerful woman capable of making good and healthy choices for my body and my family.


I do regret slipping and gaining all my weight back, but focusing on my failure is just causing me to sink further. I need to forgive the past, and focus on the present and the future. I've spent too many months dwelling on past decisions that I cannot change now.


This morning, I woke up a bit later than usual... My eyes were heavy, my hair was a mess...but I threw on my gym clothes, ate some cheerios...and headed to the gym. Hubby was home and babe was still fast asleep. I did a short workout...30 minutes of cardio...but it felt great and was a wonderful way to start my day.


I'm proud of myself. I am a strong and powerful woman capable of making good and healthy choices for my body and my family. Once more...I AM A PROUD OF MYSELF. I AM STRONG AND POWERFUL.


Jamie
***Next Post--a list of reasons why I need to do this. A list to inspire me when I need it the most.