A perfect way to describe my weekend...haha.
The Good:
Probably 80% of the time I ate healthy meals and treats...made wise choices...and even said NO to a chocolate bar put in front of my face. haha...strength!
I went for a hike. I went swimming. On Sunday I had an AMAZING workout at the gym. I pushed myself SO hard on the elliptical, that I was drenched...it was amazing. I'm always surprised that someone of my size can work it so amazingly at the gym when I'm focused. I think I could outdo a lot of 'thin' people easily... It was awesome!!!
The Bad:
All weekend I kicked ass. Until last night. It was all stormy and wet. My husband and I were getting ready to curl up on the couch and watch the latest episode of True Blood. Like old times...my husband ran across the street to the store and bought a bag of chips. Yep. It's like I forgot all the hard work I did all weekend...all the wise choices I had made. I proceeded to munch on them with him til that huge bowl of chips were gone. Sigh.
The Ugly:
Within minutes of eating the chips, I started feeling horrible. Guilt racked through my body, as well as intense regret. I started feeling like a failure again...it completely erased the pride I had been feeling up until then. I have a problem with being sort of mean to myself...thinking negative thoughts...that sort of thing. And I've been really working hard against that, trying to raise my self esteem...but last night, I fell into the 'hating myself' realm again. Bah.
Today I woke up refreshed and with a determination to be proud of myself for the weekend I had. I was active. I made some strong decisions. My body had that 'oh so good' achey feeling...that feeling that reflects hard work. I had a moment of weakness last night, but I can not and will not let it take away from my accomplishments!
And now, the start of a new week!
If any one out there reading this has any experiences with negative self talk, please share them. Let me know what you do to fight these horrible feelings...
Cheers,
Jamie
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