Weigh In...

I was a bit hesitant to weigh in this morning. Really. Not that it's been a horrible week, but just because it was such a strange week and I didn't have a lot of confidence in how it would play out. I didn't journal my food intake, but tried to make wise choices. I only went to the gym the once...but did get out with my babe a lot....walks, playing in the park etc.

But in the end I went. I just can't wimp out when I'm not definite I'll lose. That's not the recipe for success. I need to drag my ass to weigh in every week...whether I want to or not...

And it was good! I actually lost 3.2 lbs! Whoohoo! It just shows that by being more mindful on a daily basis what I'm putting into my mouth and being more active in general does pay off. I don't have to change my entire life to fit around a strict diet and intense daily work outs. I can just do my best to be a healthy person...

This puts my grand total to 15.2 lbs! Whoohoo! Next stop will be 2-0. I'll be really pumped when I hit that number!

Today at my meeting we talked about how we self sabotage ourselves at times. When we're doing really well it's easy to start 'rewarding' ourselves with the bad foods. Another serious mistake we make is when accepting compliments. Instead of just saying thank you and continuing on program....we tend to brush it off, or make excuses or deny things. I was told that 'Just' and 'Only' are our new 4 letter words.

For example "You lost 3.2 lbs this week! You are doing great!!".... "Oh...thanks....but I ONLY went to the gym once. I should have went more".

We need to take credit for work well done! Stop dwelling on the negative. Stop trying to lessen our success.

:)

From here on in...when I get a compliment I'm simply going to say Thank You.

Jamie

Ouch.

Okay. That class I told you about yesterday? I'm regretting it today!! Every muscle in my back is sore...and my right calf feels like it's just a tight knot...if I flex it at all I get a Charlie's Horse....blah! Now I know I'm not quite ready for that one! lol. The worse part is now I'm just too sore to work out today. I might try to go for a walk with the baby....but I fear the gym would just hurt my calf even more...

Anyone ever have this in the calf...any suggestions for getting it back to normal???

I'm still doing okay on program. I will admit that hubby and I had some Doritos last night while we watched the movie "Adventureland". Doritos....BAD. Movie....GREAT! Highly recommend it!

Well, back to Sesame Street for me! haha....nothing like my mornings spent with baby, Sesame Street and a nice strong coffee in my hands. Seriously. I couldn't ask for much more...

Jamie

Mid Week Update!

Hello! Sorry it's been so long...but I've been on vacation and it's been hard to find the time to sit by myself and post!

I've been doing well. Not totally 'on program'...but just living a healthier lifestyle in general. Since Saturday I've been just full of family fun. We've been to the park several times, walked to the library, played at a splashpad, gone for walks...it's been wonderful.

The best part of it has been all the time I've gotten to spend with my son. It's so nice to have some quality mommy son time...stupid work always gets in the way of that...so 3 weeks off is so refreshing!

The last couple of days I have not been to the gym...well...to be honest, the last FOUR days! Yikes! BUT...I've been very active in my everyday. I've spent WAY less time sitting on my ass in front of the tv...and have stayed out of my fridge and cupboards by being on the move all the time! I'm the queen of boredom eating...so staying busy is key for me! I have had some treats over the last few days...but I've been strong! At the butterfly conservatory we were all a bit nibbly...I got my son some chicken fingers with veggie sticks, my hubby got a huge cookie...and I just got a diet coke and nibbled on some of Quin's celery and carrots! I waited til I got home to have a nice lunch! Another great decision was while at Costco with the family, we got some icecream on the way out. They have the yummiest, creamiest soft serve in town...but this time we got a small CUP and we all SHARED it. We even did McD's one lunch and I got a green salad!!! So overall, I'm proud of the days I've had. Before trying to live a healthier lifestyle, a week away from work would have been the biggest excuse to treat myself to all sorts of naughty things....hey its vacation! lol. But not this time!~ Whoohoo!

I had a great morning today. I dropped my hubby off at work, then went to the YMCA with my little dude. I put him in daycare while I joined a Cross Training fitness class. It was my first time doing this type of class and I found it very hard. It was some boxing, some stepping, some running, some weights....I was dying near the end...but I'm proud that I tried it~ And then even though I was zonked at the end, I brought my son to Busy Bees Playground and we ran around and had so much fun together for an hour or so!

We just finished lunch and now it is naptime...for Quin. Which in mommy terms means that I get to sit and savour a coffee and relax for a bit.

I say well earned.

Jamie

Quick Update!

Just weighed in. Lost 0.8lbs. Not too shabby! It's nothing too impressive...but with my body being strange this week, I'm very happy. That puts me at 12 lbs total!

I'm going to continue to kick ass this week...motivated more than ever!!

I heard a great thing at my meeting this morning that I thought I'd share. It's in reference to 'falling off the wagon' or making a poor decision.

Relate it to falling down the stairs. If you are going down a set of stairs, and you slip and fall down a few....do you climb all the way back up to the top and start walking down the stairs all over again? NO! You are already half way down and you pick up and keep moving down the stairs to the bottom. So basically, you have a slip, big whoop. Your previous behaviors and choices that week have already gotten you closer to your goal...keep on going. Don't beat yourself up and feel like everything else you did was not worth it. That you wasted all your previous efforts with one chocolate sundae!

So that's my lesson for today....lol.

I'm off to the butterfly conservatory with my hubby and son. We had plans to go to the Splashpad....but they are predicting rain and storms all day....so inside plans are just safer.

:)

Jamie

My great afternoon....

Went to the gym this afternoon. It was great! I did 35 minutes of the elliptical...then I attempted the stepper....which I haven't done in years. It was not pretty. LOL. I used to do 30 minutes straight of it. Today I could hardly do one minute! Really made me realize how fit I once was! So it's my new target. Every time I work out I'm going to hop on it. Even if it's just for a minute or two. In time I'll get better and better at it...then watch out!

I also did lots of stretches and stomach crunches....ouchie! But a good ouchie.

Afterwards I rewarded myself with an uninterrupted hour at Chapters/Starbucks. I wandered the book isles....ended up grabbing two magazines and read them in a big comfy chair with a black coffee. I know...against the rules to not buy the magazines...haha...but no one was looking. I figured if someone said something I'd just buy them :)

Tonight I'm hanging with hubby...then the fun weekend starts! I'll post tomorrow after my weigh in!

Jamie

Awwww...almost weekend!

Good morning! It's so lovely out today. I'm feeling pretty good still. I haven't been to the gym in TWO days...sigh...but I've been eating quite healthily. Life has just been so busy the last two days that I've been having trouble fitting it in. So today, I decided to MAKE IT HAPPEN. I came in a bit early, and I told my staff that I'd be taking the afternoon off! I'm going to hit the gym and take my time and enjoy a really great workout!

Tomorrow morning I weigh in. I'm feeling sort of blah about it. I don't think I did anything to gain...I really should lose a bit... But my body is also being stupid right now. Aunt Flo was due over a week ago and nothing. I'm all bloated and moody...and NO I'm not pregnant. So I'm really hoping that she comes soon as I hate when my body doesn't work as it's supposed to. It worries me. I've had strange cycles before...but usually they were at times in my life full of extreme stress. Right now I'm actually feeling really great. My stress factor is lower than it's been in ages. I'm eating better, I'm exercising. And now my body is being weird again! Bah.

Oh well. Whatever the scale shows I'll be fine with. If it's a loss I'll celebrate! If it's a gain, I'll chock it up to my weird body and know that I'll have a great loss the following week when it gets back to normal.

Either way I'm drinking a bottle of my favorite wine on Saturday night. I've been planning for it all week! LOL. I bought it at one of my favorite wineries in Niagara a bit ago, and I look at it every day with longing.

This weekend I'm going to try to be very active with my family. I'm going to try to be outdoors as much as possible, enjoy the local parks and trails. Go for a swim or two. It'll be excellent.

Cheers!
Jamie

What a beautiful morning...

I'm sitting at my desk enjoying a nice strong Starbucks coffee... The weather is gorgeous and I just had an amazing workout before arriving at work!

To back up a bit...yesterday wasn't ideal. You all heard about my pizza breakfast...lol...and my committment to eat well and work out yesterday to make up for it. Well, I sort of succeeded at part of that. I ate fairly well, if you can excuse the small piece of cake I had at work for an anniversary. My diet yesterday was:

2 slices of pizza (yikes!)
Small spinach salad (spinach, mushrooms, orange slices, red onion, bit of vinagrette)
A small pack of All Bran Bites.
Small piece of lemon cake (unexpected and unplanned for...I caved)
2 Black Bean quesadillas (small ww wrap, blackbeans cooked with peppers, salsa, garlic, onion, a bit of cheese, and a dollop of light sour cream).
A couple slices of cheese as a late night snack.

Certainly not an ideal day, but that's just life sometimes...

As for working out yesterday...ummm...didn't happen. I planned to and even made it to the gym parking lot before I realized I didn't have any socks packed! I cannot work out in barefeet...that's just gross and I'd get blisters...lol. I had a small window to work out before picking up my son from daycare, making dinner, and meeting a friend at 7:30 for a girlie date. I suppose I could have rushed home for socks and come back to the gym...but it just didn't happen.

HOWEVER...to make ammends for that I woke up a bit earlier than normal this morning and hit the gym. I did my typical 30 minutes on the elliptical, and then gave myself another 20 minutes of hitting the weights (a luxery I don't often get in my rushed mornings)...then lots of stretching...and now I'm at work.

I feel really great!

I will confess I had a few moments throughout my day yesterday when I felt like I was losing my motivation. I actually had an image in my mind of slipping away at that point and just going back to how I used to live. Isn't that crazy? I thought about it, actually considered it...seriously. It just goes to show how easily the brain can give up if you don't stay focused. Luckily I didn't let it get the better of me and today I feel as strong as ever!

Here's to a great week! I will weigh in again this Saturday and keep you posted! Also...I WILL post pics, I keep putting it off as I hate taking pictures of myself when I look this way...but I will do it.

Cheers,
Jamie

Whoops. Not the greatest of nights...

So I've been kicking ass for weeks now, making wise choices and feeling great.

Well, yesterday I had a slip. :( I had a busy day at work...and after picking up the little dude from daycare and running a couple of errands, we were in a rush for dinner and stopped and picked up a pizza. Not a healthier version...a thick crusted cheesy pizza. I ate 3 pieces. But they were gooey yummy pieces so I don't even want to imagine the calories and fat involved. To make matters worse...I had horrible sleep last night. Probably because of all the grease in my belly! I was up at 4am for a couple hours...then fell asleep on the couch until 7:00. Well, that means I can't hit the gym as I'll be too late for a dr's appointment I had booked for Quin first thing in the morning. I'm running around getting things ready for the day...and what do I do? I have 2 MORE pieces of pizza as breakfast! I'm serious! Bah.

So now I feel all gross and greasy. I'm going to try to counter the bad decisions with a healthy green salad for lunch and a healthy low cal dinner (home made black bean wraps), and a workout at the gym!

Note to self. Don't buy pizza. It makes me feel gross. Make one if I have a craving as it will be much healthier. Don't buy/make more than I need. Leftovers only lead to poorer choices the next day.

Phew.

Oh well, the past is the past. From here on in I'm going to be an ANGEL!

Cheers and have a good day!

Jamie

Torn.

I had a great weekend. It was so full of family and fun...and it was healthy too!

Yesterday I spent almost 5 hours at a Kids festival at a local park...we walked, ran, played in the splashpad....even fit in a bit of frisbee. It was just such a great family day. I really just cannot imagine my life without my baby boy...who is fast approaching being a big boy as he's already 17 months old!

Life is so busy with him around. I rarely have time to think of myself...or relax...but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I've never been so satisfied in my life. I really have no clue what I did with myself pre Quin. He's the one person who can make me smile and laugh even in my worst moods. He melts my heart...and even when we're having a frustrating moment together...I just look into his eyes, and I smile.

Which leads me to the title of this post....torn. I am ready to grow my family. I want one more. I really really do. So...the big question is, do I try to have another now...or do I put weight loss first and try in a year? I know it is ideal to be at a healthier weight for pregnancy, but I'm already almost 33, and really don't want to wait too long, especially as it could take months to get pregnant.

Part of me feels I should just go for it. Having a family is more important than trying to be skinny... I was this exact weight when I was pregnant with Quin. It wasn't ideal, but I was and still am, fairly healthy for my size. My blood pressure if perfect, I didn't have any complications at all with my pregnancy other than a bit of sciatica... If I got pregnant now, I could continue to eat very heatlhy and work out 3-4 times a week. I would have no need to gain weight for the baby as my starting weight is more than enough to sustain a fetus. Then once he/she is born, and after I heal (it will be a C section), I can work hard to get my body back as my family will finally be complete.

There is a little part of me though, that is so excited to lose weight. I've been doing so well, feeling so motivated and feeling soooo good. I'm afraid to lose that motivation!

Has anyone else ever been in this type of situation? I find myself torn. One day I want a baby NOW, the next day I think I should lose weight for another year, then try.

It's such a tough decision. In the end, the baby is WAY more important...and I think I'll just need to find a way to balance pregnancy and health.


On a different note... despite waking up this morning all tired and achey from a weekend full of walking all day long, I got my butt in gear and went to the gym for a workout before work! It was great...30 minutes of working it on the elliptical... :)

Cheers,
Jamie

My Weigh In!

I went and weighed in yesterday morning....and....drumroll...

DOWN 3.8 LBS!!

Whoohoo! That puts me at just over 11 lbs in total over the past month or so. Not too shabby!

I guess all that gym time, swimming and good food choices paid off :)

After my weigh in, my husband and I actually had a really great treat. We got to get away for the day without our babe! Normally we take him with us everywhere...so this was a rare event :) We decided to spend the day in Niagara on the Lake. It was their annual Peach Festival...so we wandered around there and had a lovely time. It was a day full of treats...but nothing horrible. We went out to a great Bistro for lunch and I had a ham and brie sandwich which was a bit of heaven. Then of course, we were tempted the entire length of main street with various peach desserts. They all looked SO good. In the end we SHARED a cup of homemade vanilla icecream with fresh peaches poured on top. It was delish and I felt okay since we shared. Plus we did a lot of walking to balance that icecream out!

After we had our fill of the Peach Festival, we decided to hit the wineries. We ended up at one of our favorite fruit wineries called Sunnybrook. We sampled 3 bottles, and walked away with two to save for a special night. All in all, it was such a nice day. It was good for our marriage to have a day just for us, like the old days :)

Another great decision made last night was that I was craving salty crunchy snacks SO bad. We almost ran to get something, but then I said...no. We don't need it. I had a bit of healthy mango gelato from our freezer and sliced a fresh peach on top...it was decadant and very low calorie! Yeah me!

It feels nice that I'm starting to fit my normal life into my good decisions. I don't feel like I'm neglecting myself from the things I love, but that I am just maker better choices that fit into my lifestyle.

I learned a great thing at my meeting yesterday morning. HALT. When you are feeling hungry, and find yourself browsing your cupboards or heading to store, say "HALT". Am I HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY or TIRED. More times than not, you will not answer hungry. I'm going to try this throughout the week and see if it works.

The other great lesson I learned was how to deal with an intense craving. Here is the drill. If you've been craving something specific and you just can't stop thinking about it...do one of the following: Distract it (Do something to occupy your hands and mind), Fake it (have something similar but healthier and see if you can fake it out), Have it (have a small portion of your craving to get it out of your system) or Dig Deeper (try to figure out what is behind your craving). The thinking behind this is that too often we ignore a craving for so long that we eat around it...and never satisfy the craving, eventually cave in to the craving, and in the end, end up eating WAY more calories than we would have if we'd just had a little to start with.

I'm off to the park today with my son...it should be a good day filled with lots of playing and splashing around!

Enjoy your Sunday,

Jamie

What a difference it makes...

This morning, as I was sipping my coffee, it occured to me that I have so much more support in this journey than I ever realized. I always just assumed I had myself, my husband, my sister and one good friend that really cared about my weight loss. Less than a handful of people that were there to give me kudos, encourage me when I'm feeling down, and watch the transition.


That's how it was the first time around when I was losing weight.


But this time it seems different. I realize now, it's because I'm being more open about it. Normally I'm a pretty private person, but I've been finding myself telling different groups of friends that I'm trying to get healthy...and the rewards from that are already showing. If I post that I had a great workout on facebook, for example, I get a lot of positive reinforcement from people I normally wouldn't expect getting it from. It really is wonderful.


The lesson here for me is that I really do need to open up more to those around me. I tend to be very friendly to anyone I meet, but I rarely open myself up to them on a personal level. I'm not sure where this stems from...if it was learned from my mom, a result of low self esteem...? But I am going to put an effort into getting a bit more personal with people. I can only benefit from this as there is something so amazing about conecting with people and feeling close to them.


It's funny how when you try to whip your body into shape, you naturally start working on your mind too...I think it's the only way to truely feel healthy.



Yesterday I went to the gym after work...did 30 minutes of cardio and then some weights. It felt great. I made great eating choices all day...even avoided snacking on anything while spending over 2 hours at Starbucks with a girlfriend! Just had a skinny Hazelnut latte...yum. And then an americano....wonder why I was up half the night? lol.


Today I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to fit in the gym...but I'm going to try. I'm babysitting for a friend tonight...but maybe I can squeeze in a quick workout before hand.


Tomorrow morning I am going to weigh in. Good or bad, I'll post the results right away!

Then I'm hitting Niagara on the Lake for the Peach Festival! Yum!~ Peaches and wine...two of my favorite things :)


Have a great one!
Jamie

Cool Website

I found a pretty cool website...it easily show you the calories in what you are eating, calories burned for almost any activity you can think of (even household chores!) and takes your weight into account...and reviews of the many many diets out there.

http://calorielab.com/index.html

Check it out if you're curious!

Jamie

I'm feeling great...

I've had a good couple days!

Tuesday night was very rewarding...loved spending some time with good friends.

Wednesday I was home from work and took the time to go down to the pool and swim lots of laps! It felt excellent...not sure how it compares to cardio machine work...does anyone know? I know when I swim I can feel the burn in my muscles, but I don't necessarily lose my breath or sweat etc., which are the signs of working hard on my cardio machines... Either way, I know it's good for me!

Today I have packed a very healthy lunch and snacks, and I brought my gym clothes with me so I can go there directly from work...

I can proudly say that in the last week...I've done something active every day but one! Whoohoo!

I am going to weigh in on Saturday morning, so look for an update on my weight this weekend. Fingers crossed it's a decent loss :)


I feel like the more days I get through with making healthy choices and forcing workouts...the more it's starting to feel like a natural way of living for me. It's only been a few weeks...perhaps a month, but I'm already finding myself making great decisions without thinking about it. On Tuesday, for instance, my hubby and I were finished work an hour before we had to pick up our son. My husband was ravenous...and wanted to get a bite to eat somewhere. He mentioned a fast food place and WITH ALL HONESTY...I was like 'yuck'. I didn't want it at all. I even said to him "You don't want fast food. All that grease? We'll just feel like crap when we're done". And I meant it. I had NO desire to have a greasy burger, or salty fries. Instead, I suggested we go somewhere where we could buy a nice sandwich...a fresh sandwich. And we did. It was delish and healthy and GUILT FREE :) Also, now when a day goes by where I can't find the time to hit the gym or pool, the next day I find myself looking forward to working out! My body is already craving the activity.

My body is telling me how much it wants to be healthy, I just need to listen to it. It is so happy lately. I feel better. I feel more energetic. I feel prettier. I feel more capable.

Jamie

I done good...

Yep. Had an EXCELLENT day yesterday. Food was pretty decent...it went something like this:

Small bowl of cheerios and 1% milk for breakie.
Morning break: large black coffee and a banana muffin (made by me...low fat)
Lunch: turkey sandwich with a bit of cheese, apple
Snack: granola bar
Dinner: Burger (made at home), and some mexican rice on the side.
Late night snack: another banana muffin (low fat)

I also went to the gym AGAIN! :) I did 30 minutes of the elliptical machine and it felt fantastic! I then just did some floor stuff...stretches, crunches etc.

When I was driving home from the gym last night...I realized how much I really do love working out. I do. I love how it feels while I'm doing it. I REALLY love the way it feels when I'm finished ;). I am definitely a gym girl. Some people don't do gyms well, they prefer just doing exercise at home or outside...but for me...it's the gym. I love the atmosphere. I love the people watching element of it... I love it when the person working the front desk remembers my name and makes me feel like a part of the family. I will make it a priority to always make the gym fit into my budget and life...

Another cool thing my gym has is FitLinxx. It's a computer program that logs all your workouts. I'm really enjoying it. Every week they post the top 10 people who logged the most time on Fitlinxx...and they also list the top ten each month and a huge "whoohoo" list for the top at the end of each year.

It is my goal to make it into the top ten week list within the next 3 months. I'm going to log those hours and get my name on the wall of fame.

This is my newest goal!

Today I will not be working out...sigh...I'm just too busy, but I will make healthy food choices. I am instead spending my night surrounded by good friends...which is good for my soul. First I'm having coffee with a great friend I haven't seen in a few weeks...then I'm going to the local pub for a drink with the local mommy's group. Us moms need to stick together! It's going to be super fun and I plan to stay on program by having a skinny latte with my friend...then either one glass of wine or one beer at the pub... I'm going to drive to make sure I don't have more than that! :)

Cheers and have a great day!
Jamie

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly...

A perfect way to describe my weekend...haha.


The Good:

Probably 80% of the time I ate healthy meals and treats...made wise choices...and even said NO to a chocolate bar put in front of my face. haha...strength!


I went for a hike. I went swimming. On Sunday I had an AMAZING workout at the gym. I pushed myself SO hard on the elliptical, that I was drenched...it was amazing. I'm always surprised that someone of my size can work it so amazingly at the gym when I'm focused. I think I could outdo a lot of 'thin' people easily... It was awesome!!!


The Bad:

All weekend I kicked ass. Until last night. It was all stormy and wet. My husband and I were getting ready to curl up on the couch and watch the latest episode of True Blood. Like old times...my husband ran across the street to the store and bought a bag of chips. Yep. It's like I forgot all the hard work I did all weekend...all the wise choices I had made. I proceeded to munch on them with him til that huge bowl of chips were gone. Sigh.


The Ugly:

Within minutes of eating the chips, I started feeling horrible. Guilt racked through my body, as well as intense regret. I started feeling like a failure again...it completely erased the pride I had been feeling up until then. I have a problem with being sort of mean to myself...thinking negative thoughts...that sort of thing. And I've been really working hard against that, trying to raise my self esteem...but last night, I fell into the 'hating myself' realm again. Bah.


Today I woke up refreshed and with a determination to be proud of myself for the weekend I had. I was active. I made some strong decisions. My body had that 'oh so good' achey feeling...that feeling that reflects hard work. I had a moment of weakness last night, but I can not and will not let it take away from my accomplishments!


And now, the start of a new week!


If any one out there reading this has any experiences with negative self talk, please share them. Let me know what you do to fight these horrible feelings...


Cheers,

Jamie

Weekend so far...

Thought I'd check in and write about my weekend so far!!

Last night I ended up being very good...considering I was feeling very snacky, I just made a couple slices of whole wheat toast with Becel and curled up with a good book and went to bed early.  It was very nice :)

This morning I just couldn't bring myself to go to the gym.  BUT...I know I committed to doing so both today and tomorrow...so instead, I tried to think of what I could do that would count as great exercise, but also be fun.  

First, my hubby, baby and myself went for an excellent walk down a nature trail!  It was only about 30 minutes long...but it was hilly and my legs burned at I was even out of breath after one particularly large hill!  Then we got home...and within minutes, put our swimsuits on and went for a nice swim in the pool.  Not only was it a ton of fun to splash around with my son (17  months old)...but I also did a bunch of laps while hubby played with him.  I even snuck 10 minutes in the hot tub :)  

Now, we've just finished lunch...babe is about to nap, and I'm just going to relax for a bit and rest my body!  I feel great. 

It was really nice to be so active and to get outdoors and away from our living room and television.

Tonight I'm bringing dinner to my mom-in-laws.  I'm making a home made shephards pie....yum.  I'll make sure I have a very modest portion and that I drink lots of water!!!

For a healthy snack tonight I have preplanned humus and some rice crackers...yum.

I'm feeling great and in control...and it's awesome!!!

Cheers and enjoy the rest of the weekend!!!

Jamie

What I commit to doing this weekend...

Okay. It's Friday. I love the weekend...but it's a bit of challenge to get through while trying to lose weight...so I thought I'd list a few commitments I'm going to make.

First. I will track EVERYTHING that I eat all weekend. I will write it down, and I will pay attention to portions.

I will make sure I have healthy snack options in the house, so that when I inevitably want a treat while watching a movie (etc.), I have something healthy to reach for.

I will drink a minimum of 1L of water each day.

I will go to the gym BOTH Saturday and Sunday.



Also...I came across a great article today in my local newspaper on the tricks for losing weight...and I thought I'd share them as they are quite true:

http://news.therecord.com/Life/article/581186

Have a great weekend!

Jamie

Inspiration List

A list of why I need/want to lose weight.

1. I can live a long and healthy life.
2. I can be the best mom I can be.
3. I can be the best wife I can be.
4. I can feel sexy again :)
5. I can feel empowered again.
6. I can feel less discomfort in my feet and knees from all the weight I'm carrying.
7. I can sink into my bathtub and truely enjoy it without feeling like a beached whale.
8. I can wear clothes that make me feel beautiful.
9. I can see my collarbones again.
10. I can feel athletic again.
11. I can sit anywhere and not worry about the sturdiness of the chair.
12. I can stop assuming that everyone is staring at me.
13. I can have another baby and be healthier for the pregnancy.
14. I can feel proud of my accomplishments.
15. I can learn to love myself again.
16. I can get down and play with my son and chase him through the park.
17. I can be a healthy role model for my children.
18. I can allow myself to get closer to people with my new found confidence.
19. I want to experience life...and not just be on the sidelines.
20. I want to run another 1/2 marathon.
21. I want others to be proud of me.

This list will be updated periodically to reflect new goals/thoughts.

Working out...

As we all know, we need to eat better and exercise more to lose weight. It seems so simple. But, as anyone who has attempted it knows, it is anything but.


Why?


I love to eat healthy foods. I love how I feel after I've worked out. Why then, do I have to battle with myself to do these two things?


I've been really thinking about this lately, trying to understand why I do the things I do. Why I don't make the decisions (simple ones) that would make me a happier person. Why do I chose instead to do things that make me feel regretful, lazy, guilty and like a failure?


I think I understand a bit of it...and apology...about to get a bit heavy. I think it's about self punishment. I KNOW. That's sounds crazy. But really. It's like I don't like myself very much right now, so I do things that make me feel horrible, as I truely feel that's is all I deserve. I eat crap when I know I'm not hungry and don't want it. I skip the gym even when that little voice in my head says 'Ooooohh...that'll feel great!'. Why do I do this to myself?


I can be a VERY motivated person when I want to be. I can find strength from within that other people have commented on as being inspirational.


A few weeks ago I told my sister (who has always been gorgeous and thin) that I had rejoined Weight Watchers and was going to try to kick butt again and get healthy. Her response? "Wow. That is so amazing. I wish I had your self motivation...God, I'd take half of it". Another friend of mine when I told her I was going to lose weight again said "Awesome. Can't wait to watch it. Once you set your mind you are always a success".


So other people see this in me.


I need to find a way to REMIND myself on daily basis that I am a strong, powerful woman capable of making good and healthy choices for my body and my family.


I do regret slipping and gaining all my weight back, but focusing on my failure is just causing me to sink further. I need to forgive the past, and focus on the present and the future. I've spent too many months dwelling on past decisions that I cannot change now.


This morning, I woke up a bit later than usual... My eyes were heavy, my hair was a mess...but I threw on my gym clothes, ate some cheerios...and headed to the gym. Hubby was home and babe was still fast asleep. I did a short workout...30 minutes of cardio...but it felt great and was a wonderful way to start my day.


I'm proud of myself. I am a strong and powerful woman capable of making good and healthy choices for my body and my family. Once more...I AM A PROUD OF MYSELF. I AM STRONG AND POWERFUL.


Jamie
***Next Post--a list of reasons why I need to do this. A list to inspire me when I need it the most.

Name Change

For those of you who have been with this blog since the beginning...you'll notice the blog has changed names! In my excitement to start this weight loss blog...I grabbed the first name I could think of.

After a few hours of thought, I decided I wasn't inspired by 'Jamie's Giant Journey' and that instead I would call it "It's in my Repertoire".

To explain.

When I was having a low point after the baby was born, and feeling not so hot, I met with a counseller to talk some things out. After explaining to her my insanely crazy couple of years...and also explaining to her some of my accomplishments over the past 5 years...she seemed quite amazed with my determination and ambition that I demonstrated through intense stress. She looked at me and said that I was a rare and unique person, that can find power in times of strain. She said she had no doubt that I would succeed in anything that I chose to accomplish because IT'S IN MY REPERTOIRE. That phrase stuck with me...and has been a source of inspiration for myself whenever I felt like I just couldn't do something.

This name represents me and my journey.

Jamie

Be warned...

I have decided, against my fear and embarrassment, that I will post a current photo of myself so that we can watch the progress. I'll probably have to drink a bottle of wine to gain the courage...but the photo will be up by the end of the week...sigh.

Stay tuned!

The beginning...

My first post! I'll start by introducing myself and explaining why I am starting this blog.

My name is Jamie and I'm a 30 something mom who has decided to take on the challenge of losing weight and whipping my body into shape! This is no easy feat for anyone, but especially someone of my proportions...I have approximately 110 lbs to lose. And I WILL do it.

The reason I have that confidence is that I have done it before! I have been overweight my entire life...well, not as a child, but the weight started gathering right around grade 7. Incidentally, that is also when my mom started gaining weight...we gained it together...awww...so sweet ;)

I was pleasantly plump for many years, and it wasn't until the last 10 years that the weight became more than plump.

About 6 years ago I decided to lose the weight. I am not a yo yo dieter...and in fact, that was my first 'real' attempt at weight loss. And I did it the right way! I started seeing a counseller for a few months to prepare...I joined Weight Watchers and I joined the local gym. Well, you couldn't stop me....I lost weight almost every week and within a year I had lost my 100 lbs and looked and felt great. I was inspirational to many people.

I had become an athlete. I climbed the CN Tower twice...I walked for 2 days for Cancer, I ran the Toronto half marathon.

I felt amazing. I felt healthy. And I felt alive for the first time in my life.

What happenen then? How did I let myself get back into this positon?

It was a mix of things. The first BIG thing that really affected my success was that my gym closed. This might not seem like a big deal, but it was life changing for me. I had formed habits around that gym...it was where I went on my walk home from work. It was the place I went and everyone knew my name. It was an important part of my life. To make matters worse, there were no other gyms in my area and at that time, I didn't have a car. I thought I could do it on my own...but I found it very hard.

Then life started getting a bit stressful. I got married in June 2006 and it was the best day of my life. I was a bit heavier...maybe 30 lbs...but I still looked great and was still hopeful. A few weeks after the wedding, my husband was laid off. He was unemployed for 7 months, despite his efforts to find work...any work. We started fighting and it was very stressful...more weight packed on.

He finally found a job...a crappy one, but a job and things were starting to look up! In fact...the following June we found out we were pregnant! JOY!~ We had never been so scared or so excited ever in our lives. We were just 3 weeks pregnant when we found out my husbands father had cancer. And had 6 months to live. We hadn't told anyone of our pregnancy, and had planned to wait 10-12 weeks to make sure it was a healthy one. Well, 3 weeks later, while out of town, we received a phone call that our father was in the hospital and was just read his last rights. We were shocked. And heartbroken. We hit the 401 and drove for 3 hours while tears streamed down our cheeks. We made it to the hospital, and he continued to live for several days before passing away. It was such a painful experience. We announced our pregnancy during all of this heartbreak, hoping it would provide a small ray of sunshine. I continued to gain weight.

Throughout my pregnancy I watched my husband fall into a deep dark depression. He lost his job again. The company was moving. He was depressed, a baby was coming, and we were feeling lost. After months of a dark cloud hovering over our home, I finally got my husband to the doctor's and he immediately put him on medication and sent him to a counseller. Over the next few months, he started to act like his old self again. Just in time for our beautiful son to join the world. When our baby was just 3 weeks old, he landed a great job with the Government. Life was looking sweet for us.

And it has been sweet. I have a caring, sensitive and hilarious husband. I have the most beautiful and silly son. But here I am, more than 100 lbs overweight again. I let life get the best of me...but I will not do that again.

I restarted this journey a couple weeks ago and so far am down 7.4 lbs. Only 102.6 lbs to go!

And so it begins...my journey. I will document it every step of the way. The successes, the failures, the joy and the sorrow. No doubt my family life will sneak into the blog as well, as it's a integral part of my life and therefore, and integral part of my success.

Hold on tight....